I thought someone was pulling a prank on me. Two lawyers, by the name of John, contacted me in the same week from the same city. There was only a slight difference in age. Meet John Lawyer 41, and John Lawyer 37, from here on out that is how I will refer to them to keep things simple.
On Monday night I called JL 41. He was very talkative, interesting, and funny. Funny is what makes my knees weak. It’s the key into my mind, not into my pussy! And with that 20-minute conversation, I knew I had to meet him.
That Wednesday I parked by my local Starbucks café. I sent a quick text, “I’m here. Will walk in, in a moment.”
“I’m sitting by the windows.” He wrote back.
I walked into the establishment and started scanning all the seats lining the windows. Two young girls sipping hot chocolate to the right, a couple getting ready to leave at a table for two, and a single gentleman of about 40 sitting by himself. I walked up to the guy sitting by the window. He looked up at me with a puzzled look. “Are you John?” I ask him. He shook his head, with a look of “I wish I was” on his face.
I looked towards the store counter and saw this faggy looking scrawny guy laughing and waiving at me. He’s wearing a business suit that only helps to emphasize his skinny biceps. I walked up to him and he introduced himself as - John. We proceeded to standing in line and he got himself a coffee. Without asking me if I’d like anything he headed over to one of the tables to sit down. Very classy!
Our conversation went from talking about the meeting with his client, just before he met me. Then, talking about me, talking about him, and finally the arrangement.
“So how much are you looking for financially?” He asked.
“$4,000/month. I can see you once a week for several hours.”
He noded his head and said, “Hmmm…I can have a 4 day trip to Phoenix to play golf for that much money.”
Now what I don’t understand is why he’s trying to be a sugar dad? If he wants to spend his cash on travel and golf then he needs to join a club and book on Expedia. Yet he is looking to support a young chick. I didn’t want to be rude so I let it fly and just told him I understood.
As he sat there contemplating the most fascinating shit started spewing out of his faggy mouth, “You know I can never decide on anything. I make a choice one day and then two weeks later I ask myself “What the hell was I thinking?!” That’s why I’m dating 4 women right now and I don’t even like them! Actually one of them has invited herself to my place for 4 days. And all she does when she comes over is watch YouTube and make vegetarian food. I want to tell her to stop coming over…”
At that point I wished that his clients were witness to this madness. I rolled my eyes and cut our date short. I knew he was going to be a waste of time.
The next day I received a message from John Lawyer 37. At first I thought, is this a prank? Could it be the same little prick just wasting my time? After checking out the profile, which seemed a little different from Lawyer 41, I exchanged phone numbers with 37. He sounded like a decent chap and we started setting up a date for Friday.
“Let’s meet at Starbucks,” he wrote to me.
“Oh, I don’t like that place. Let’s go somewhere else?” I asked trying to avoid going to the same spot. I just didn’t want the staff to see me as a revolving door of strange men.
“Right. Because Starbucks can be soo uncomfortable. LOL Where do you want to go then?” He wrote back.
We settled on a place not too far from there. I arrived 5 minutes earlier on Friday and sat at a wooden table leafing through a local specialty paper. J37 walked in and we introduced ourselves while I got tea and he a large cookie with coffee. He seemed very nice and we had a very good conversation about news, travel, arrangements, relationships, etc.
He informed me that at the moment he has a girlfriend but is looking to get out of the relationship because they no longer connect. Until then he would only have time to see me once a week. I’m not complaining! But when I told him about the allowance ($4,000/month) he said that he would only pay that much if he spent 5 days a week with a girl.
I almost laughed! If someone asked me to spend 5 days per week all month long, I’d be asking for 10,000. I saved him from having a heart attack by not voicing my opinion. After about 1 hour we parted with a ‘half-hug’ and he told me he will think about things.
A couple of days later I got this text:
“So I thought about “us” and I am really intrigued by you. I thought we really had a real conversation, which was nice. But as I think I said, I want someone that can be long term and my concern is that if I commit to $3,000 that it won’t be. Could we start at $1,500 and then move it up as we go?”
Somewhere he changed my allowance to 3,000? Okaaayyy…
I wrote, “What if we try 1,500 for two weeks and then another 1,500. To make it 3,000 a month? You’ll see that I also want it to be long term.”
He replies, “It’s not the timing of the paying of the money I’m concerned about. I just don’t want the money to be in the back of my mind as we get to know each other, as that just becomes a hurdle. So I want to be comfortable with what I’m paying. What if we do 1,000 now and then another 1,000 in 2 weeks? See how that goes in the New Year. I’m going away for xmas and early January anyway so it would be a shorter month for you to have to bear me.”
Sounds like the allowance is now getting to $2,000? LMAO
My last text was, “I also don’t want money to be in the back of my mind. I understand that you want to be comfortable, but I also want to feel like you want to help me. I don’t see any other way of making this work.”
In a few days he said, “I’m sorry things didn’t work out for us. You seem really sweet.”