Wednesday, March 9, 2011

The Flower Disaster

I have never received flowers from a guy. Okay that’s not true! I did and it all started with a client.

Two years ago a client scheduled a session with me via email. He was coming from out of town and told me how excited he was to see me. “I will bring you a bouquet of flowers.” He wrote. I thanked him and asked him not to bring it.

In my little mind it felt wrong to accept flowers from someone I didn’t know. I have always dreamed of receiving flowers from a special someone who I cared about and who cared for me.

The next day it was time to see him. He knocked on my door, walked in and presented a yellow bouquet of roses withered away by frost-bite. He apologized for its appearance and said, “I left it in my truck at night and didn’t realize it wasn’t going to stay fresh in 30 below zero.”

I thanked him just the same and we began our session. Overall it was ‘okay’ until the end when the condom broke. My first session ever that a condom broke! I was very upset and he sensed it. He told me not to worry and left my place. That day I cancelled the rest of my appointments and made plans to go the Sexual Health Clinic. (All was well, and I was/am clean).

* * *

Throughout the years I was gifted with more bouquets - usually on Valentine’s Day appointments. And each time when my clients left I would throw the flowers in a trash-can.

Just two weeks ago an old client of mine called to schedule an appointment. “Can I schedule for a few hours?…I know you don’t drink any more so what else can I bring?” He asked me. I told him to bring himself and I would do just fine with that. Haha…He hesitated but then said goodbye.

The evening of our appointment I had everything ready! My place was spotless, a couple scented candles burning on the tables and the lights were some what dimmed. I wore my favorite little black dress with dark heels. When he came to the door and I opened he handed me a 20” x 20” white box wrapped in white and red thin paper. I set the box on the table and helped my client hang up his coat.

“What is it?” I asked excited. He told me to open it. I started unwrapping the box on my kitchen table that had a new fancy tablecloth. (It took me a long time to find a beautiful fabric tablecloth that would match the furniture but I finally found it just a month ago!) I peered into the box and saw 1 red rose cut short to fit into a glass vase. I slipped my right hand under the vase and slowly pulled it out of the box.

“I’ll set it right here.” I said as I walked towards the table near the kitchen. I had my back to the box and wrapping when I heard him say, “Oh no! It’s on fire!”

I turned back to see the wrapping paper being eaten by a big orange flame! I dropped the vase on the table and started to rush around. I needed something made of cotton to cover up the flames. On one of the kitchen chairs I spotted a towel that I folded neatly just half an hour ago. Quickly I grabbed the towel unfolded it and covered the now growing flames on the table. Smoke rose up into my face and I smelled the penetrating burn of plastic wrap. The fire was put out!

And that’s when the annoying screech of a fire alarm turned on. I pulled up one of the chairs and started unscrewing the alarm from the ceiling. Finally the sound was gone.

I walked to the balcony and opened the door. A freezing wind blew into my suit swirling the dark brown ashes like snowflakes around my kitchen. It was a sad sight to see. Then I looked at my client. He said, “Well at least you won’t forget this night.”

“Right!” I wanted to scream LOL

All of this happened in less than 5 minutes, and so I started into the session. I kept on trying to get into it but in the back of my mind I was freaking out. I wanted to see if the velvet couch standing next to the fire had burned or was it just covered in ashes? I wanted to vacuum my floors and furniture to get that nasty burning smell out of the air. I wanted to say, “how can you expect me to cum when I’m still freaked out about what happened 30 minutes ago?!”

But I went through the motions and then he was gone. It took me 2 hours to make my place look tidy again :D Luckily the white velvet couch did not get a single burn!!! It was just covered in ashes that I was able to vacuum away. Not a single stain was left on it!

The only damage done was to my big cotton towel and the fancy tablecloth. I had to trash it.

I’m very happy that I was able to keep the fire from spreading! So ladies and gentlemen blow the candles out or keep things far far away from them LOL

From now on I am no longer accepting any gifts from clients unless it is colored paper that smells like moola! ;)

PS. I threw out the glass vase and the flower…


  1. Gifts are part of the fantasy. The clients want to give something to advance the fantasy that the provider is something more and that they are more than just a client. I don't know why but the sentimentality attached to flowers seem to make it even more personal, I guess a constant visual reminder of the person giving the flowers to the recipient. Part of the fantasy of a relationship. M, I can understand why you would trash them as they have a negative connection when you receive them from a client. Flowers connote an intimacy where there is none and who wouldn't rather just have the cash!

    In a sugar arrangement, I guess the whole idea is to extend the fantasy of something beyond the exchange of cash for sex. Here the transaction is not a pay by the hour, but there is the facade of a relationship. Gifts are more likely to be provided and expected, yet flowers still seem like a waste of money.

    In the end leave the flowers for gf/bf or spouses, they are probably to only ones that will appreciate the gesture and want to be reminded of the giver.

  2. @ brit:

    Yes you are right about that! The gift/flower giving is a way for them to play into their own fantasy.
    But right now, I no longer offer a "Girl Friend Experience"...I am quite sick of the whole facade! LOL...I did it for a long time before this and let me say - they fall for a GFE way too easily...No need for it so I cut it off... :)
    Now I don't play around with any fantasy of what we are there's sex :) Great sex if he wants to get into it...otherwise it's just me having sex with a stiff log that doesn't want to participate. LOL

    Thanks for commenting!

  3. I send edible arrangements. They are like flowers but are made from yummy fruit. I also gift sexy clothing, mainly because I want it worn for me AND wine...mainly because I want to drink it before, during and after sex.

    Never thought of flowers.