Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Sugarbaby - Grandpa Zen

Grandpa Zen found me a day after I joined MillionaireMatch. He contacted me by saying:

“It's unfortunate, I'm not however I wish I were into settling down as you rightfully deserve.”

Not sure by what he meant, I sent him an email back asking what he was looking for.

“I see I sent you a confusing note...I do want to find an exclusive love mate and settle down. However, I imagine settling down with a woman who has completed her family cycle and is ready to adventure the planet, 'give back' the built up love and compassion, and honestly and willingly engage (with me) the declining realities of the 'last third of life'.

What tweaked my response to you was my fantasy that I could avoid and delay all this within the distraction of the vivaciousness of your youthful, petite and sensuous body and perhaps a more mature mind as you alluded to a 'natural European' upbringing.

Wouldn't it be nice if age didn't matter and my family wouldn't shun us if I showed up at the Christmas dinner with a woman 10 years younger than my children?

I suppose we could have a good time or two and maybe even take a trip however you deserve way more!”

I laughed at him, well in a light giggle and suggested that he should be looking for a ‘mutually beneficial arrangement’ with a younger woman. Because you see, in those relationships age does matter :)

We exchanged a few more flirtatious emails and he asked to meet me at a restaurant for dinner. I had two days to get ready, so I went on MillionaireMatch and looked at his profile for the very first time. It revealed that he was 65 years old, decent looking for his age. His description of wanting to build homes in Africa in a pair of straw slippers sent my mind on an imaginary ride.

Walking into the restaurant, searching for Grandpa Zen sitting by one of the burgundy walls at a table for two. The pink bed sheet that wrapped his withered body stood out harshly against the dark background. Atop his head, just like in many pictures of Jesus, lay a white crown of weaved daisies. Before sitting down I thought, how would we ever get along? I don’t even go to church…I shook my head letting the vision pass.

I wanted to write Grandpa Zen and tell him I didn’t think there would be a fit. To cancel our dinner date before things get ugly. Then, I thought, why not try it out? I mean, he’s much older than any sugardad I’ve ever met before. Perhaps the Alzheimer’s is just a sign of generosity? I decided to go forward.

The night before our meeting I received this message:

“I’m sorry as I’m canceling our date tomorrow. It was a whimsical idea however in the short and long run it doesn’t support my progress toward finding an age appropriate life partner.”

A sigh of relief…He deleted his profile…

Monday, November 29, 2010

The Other Man 2

He is back in my life now, and I have never met anyone as conceited. In the post (The Other Man) I told the story of a man who slept with me for money (not as a client). We’ve been good friends for a year on and off. The drama he added to my life is not yet over.

We didn’t communicate at all for 1 month. It got to the point that I started forgetting about him but one day, when I was at my weakest moment I gave him a call. He is one person that I can be honest with 90% of the time. Honest about what I do, my search for a sugar daddy, what is stressing me out and some of my happy times. I am open with him because I know he doesn’t pass judgment on me as a person.

And so just a week ago we started talking again. Things were great; I thought he had got over my attraction to J. And now that J was out of the picture, what was there to be jealous about?

He said, “I just don’t get you. Everything you always say about a man, the things you want in a man, is right in front of you. Don’t you see it? Take a chance with me. We have everything we need to build a happy relationship.”

As I have explained in my entry ago, he is not someone I am physically attracted to. Knowing myself, I know that no matter how much time I give the dislike of him will never turn into a like. I told him, “I do not want to have a relationship with you. I never again want to have sex with you.”

He asked me, “Why?”

And with a lot of pushing he finally got me to admit that I never enjoyed the times we had sex together. The only reason it looked like I had fun was because I was completely drunk. This hurt his feelings. I told him how I wanted to trick him into a sugar arrangement but couldn’t bring myself to do it because he is my friend.

All of this aside he exclaims, “You are making a BIG mistake. You have met a person who cares for you, who you can be honest with and you are willing to throw it all away.”

I could not believe my ears! Did he really say that? OMG!

He is angry that I set an age cap for myself. No one over the age of 45 for serious relationships. I’d prefer someone 27 or 28ish, but 45 is my cap. My friend is 51 years old. He doesn’t think it’s a fair gap. 45 - 51. He also knows how much I like very fit men, I’m very slim and toned so I expect the same from a man I’m in a relationship with. Yet he is over weight still after losing 80 pounds. He has another 40 pounds to lose before he reaches his normal body weight. Yea…

He wants me to promise him that I will not put a big black cross on him forever. To give him a chance once he reaches his ideal weight. But I do not know.

Any advise????

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Sugarbaby - How Much Allowance

I have been thinking hard in the last few days about allowance. How much should a sugarbaby ask for when the allowance talk is brought up? What should the amount depend on and how do you explain it?

First of all, I don’t want to get a smaller allowance just because a sugardad is too busy to spend enough time with me to justify the amount. If he thinks xxx amount of dollars is worth xxx amount of time, then he needs to find someone who is looking for that same xxx amount of time. It is not my fault that someone is too busy with work or travel. I’m available and my life goes on!

The formula I would use to calculate my monthly allowance is:

Monthly Allowance = Monthly Budget x 2

Let’s make it x 1.5 for the sake of being less greedy.

My Monthly Budget:

Rent (utilities included) $1,300
Phone/Internet $100
Gas $100
Food/Supplies $400
Car Insurance $180

A total of $2,080 per month that does not include clothing or miscellaneous unforeseen expenses.

$2,080 x 2 = $4,160

$2,080 x 1.5 = $3,120

The allowance I’d ask for would be a minimum of $3,000 per month.

Now that you have figured out your minimum it is time to place the allowance in terms of visits per month.

In my mind if a sugardaddy spends 4 days per month as fallows:

Several hours each day, maybe even with a sleep over. You have sex with him every day that he spends with you and treat him like he is the center of the universe…you should be able to ask for $4,000.

Of course with that amount do NOT expect shopping, extravagant dining, and gifts. If you get those, he’s being very generous :)

Where did I come up with this figure?! I know it’s a HUGE discount for guys who know about escorting, and most sugardads have dabbled in this game. As a GFE escort, I would charge $2,500 for a 12 hour session + shopping + dinner. You might ask, “Why don’t you just see regular clients if you can make $2,500?”

My answer is clear and simple - a girl cannot depend on a client. As an escort it’s much harder in developing trust with a client that sees XXX number of girls each month. With sugar relationship there is stability.

Now finally, you have the number and you know why you need it, when do you bring it up with your potential sugardad?

The sooner the better. If you don’t want to bring up the amount until you meet in person, at least ask what type of sugardaddy he is in your email exchange? Gift, travel, or allowance? Some of them will be honest, while others lie about the type of sugardaddy they are until you meet them.

Don’t be shy or feel uncomfortable in bringing up the financial side of the arrangement. Both of you know why you are looking. I bet he won’t feel uncomfortable if you start talking about sex, so make sure to talk about money.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Sugarbaby - The Search and Blacklist

My new sugarbaby ad has been up for just over a week. During the first 5 days I sat in waiting and received a little over 15 messages from men in and around my home town. What bothers me the most is messages like these:

“I’m interested in getting to know you. Write if you are interested in me.”
Okay, so are we going to just exchange this sentence back and forth? Ask me a question! Be as simple as, “Hi, how are you?” You don’t want to get to know me…you just want to tell me you do. What a bunch of idiots…

Then there are the guys who ask to meet you and when you agree they disappear. Haha I see them looking at other ads, so I know they haven’t left the site!

I’ll go over a few memorable guys -

Mr. Escort:

When a man tells me he is in his early 30’s I let out an internal groan. Not that I don’t like wrinkle free skin and energy - I just know most of the time these men are still boys. They don’t take things seriously and I haven’t met too many young men looking to be generous to a young sugarbaby. Most of them don’t have problems scaring off young girls with their age.

Mr. Escort was in his early 30s. Working on a 3 month contract in my home town and he wanted me to come to his hotel room for 2 hours each week. Seemed like he needed an escort…

Not being a far stretch from who I really am (look at the title), I managed to find out he is offering a measly $400/visit. I charge $500 per such visit without having to kiss or let a guy touch my clean lady bits. So I tell him that won’t do. His next message includes a raise, 600 dollars for 2 hours.

I always smile when boys come back with a counter offer. I up my bid by saying, “$800 and we have a deal.”

Well it did not work out as he was not counting on that much money. I moved on…

Mr. I am Here:

I’ve seen this guy’s profile a year ago. And from what I recall, he contacted me the same way last year. First of all, his ad says that he lives 600 miles away. I tell him to send me a message if he ever comes to my home town.

“I’m actually much closer to you than you think! What are you looking for?”

Turns out he is in a town 150 miles from me. I explain that I am looking for a long-term arrangement to meet once a week for several hours at a time, even to sleep over. Telling him that I have my own clean place (no need for hotels) where we could meet. That I am available to meet with him with as little as 1 to 2 days notice. Add in that I am able to go out or stay in - very affection, attentive, caring, etc…Basically the real deal - NSA girlfriend. But for all this of course I am asking $4,000/month. No gifts or travel necessary.

He seems to agree, too easily in my mind. I mean, it’s a great sales pitch but I don’t trust men who agree too fast :) He says, “I’ll drive down to meet you for coffee and see if we like each other. If we get along I’ll pay you $1,000 to spend some time with me ‘indoors’.”

No problem here really, except the dude won’t tell me his name! I don’t care if he says it’s Steve or Jim (something generic) but I have to call him something! Finally he tells me his name…which at the moment I cannot remember LOL. And he gives me his phone number. I have not called him because we’ve got a major snow storm here last few days. I cannot drive out of my place! And I don’t want to be dressed like a moron with mitts and hat. I’m waiting for the storm to stop.

I will update on this guy at some point…if I decide to meet him :)

Mr. Blacklist Freak:

Thank GOD and I mean literally. As an escort I have advantages and you will see why in this story. A man in his mid forties contacted me on the 3rd day of my ad. He agreed to what I was asking and sounded quite experienced in SD/SB arrangements. “Let’s talk on the phone and meet.” He suggested to me.

He gave me his number and in return I send him an email with mine asking him to leave a voicemail if I don’t pick up. That night, around 9 PM, I heard my phone chirp. The caller ID displayed his number but I did not pickup. He left a message asking that I return his call. Half an hour later, after I got my persona in order (Yes, I have lots! Sometimes I forget who I am supposed to be LOL), I dialed his number.

“Hi Steven! How are you?” I asked in a happy voice.

“I’m fine thanks.” Pause, “Who is this?”

“It’s M, you just called half hour ago.” I said.

“Oh yes!” He said as he remembered.

We briefly talked about his previous ‘finds’. He told me that many of the girls like to lie about who they really are - they say they are students while they are really escorts, or they have boyfriends claiming they are really single. Some look for multiple sugar daddies but do not want to come clean.

“I am very open minded, I just don’t want to be lied to you know?” He tells me. Well, I am up for a challenge! I always want to see how far I can push my facade.

Small talk later we moved into a very odd part of the conversation. Steven asks me how sexually open minded I am. “Oh very open minded but why don’t you tell me what it means to you?” I ask.

“Well, I really enjoy role play, being dominant, being submissive, fisting, toys, voyeurism, and any type of rough play. Basically anything that is weird. Actually, the freakier you are the more I like it. But you know what, don’t worry if you are innocent I’m gonna love corrupting you!”

“What is rough to you?” I ask him.

“Grabbing a girl by the hair, calling her names, pushing her down to her knees and throat fucking her until she gags.” He described this “lovely” scene to me. LOL You know, that’s not so bad, but the hair pulling just really gets under my skin. When a man grabs on my hair during sex I get so angry! LOL

He tells me he’ll call me in a couple of days to arrange a meet and leaves me with some final thoughts, “Do you know what cuckolding means? Please read up on that, and if you are interested lets meet.”

After hanging up from our phone conversation, I couldn’t shake something was odd about him. I opened up my phone list and ran his number against it. BAM, I had a hit. It was bolded in red, which meant he was on my black list. I switched to the black list file and read why I added him there. I have never met him but he had a reputation! A really nasty rep for finding girls and bringing them into the world of prostitution. A fellow escort who was searching for a sugar daddy was also approached by him. He meets a girl a few times and starts telling her that if she wants to make “real” money, the best way is to be a prostitute. If he found out I was a pro, he’d loose all interest :) haha

I also knew about his like for the extreme. Once I had the “pleasure” of speaking to him as an escort. He invited me to what I will call a perverts party. He told me he gets together with these “people” that fuck girls up the ass, cum up their poop chute and he sucks the cum mixed with shit running out of a chick’s ass. I almost vomited when he told me, as I’m about to vomit while I’m writing this. Gag!

Yes, I REALLY want to meet this perv. Haha NOT. I’m so glad and lucky to have this information! Being an escort sure has its advantages.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Sugarbaby -Sugar Daddy Summary of J

There are several words that summarize my arrangement with J. They are ego, worship, dishonesty, illusion, control, and jealousy.

The ego came with J. Right from the get-go the arrangement was all about him. How much he would have to pay me per month to keep me loyal (exclusively his) was the first question. Why did he want me to be his when the only thing missing in his life was sex? He is not estranged from his wife; they were not sleeping in separate beds. The arrangement was about me worshipping him, feeding his ego, and doing it all for real! No reciprocation of feelings and caring. He wanted me dependent on him just as his wife was on him. The only big difference is his wife can divorce his ass for half the assets. Where does that leave me?

I understood what he wanted, the egocentric prick, and whipped up the illusion. One thing I’m great at is the “illusion”. That is probably because I fall to the illusion myself from time to time. I fall into adoration, caring and love while acting out those feelings. Start having genuine feelings for each man. When the man leaves or says something to break my spell I wake up. My only protection to my soul is waking up back to reality.

J began falling for my act, it was too good. But the doubts and insecurities deep inside this narcissist did not let him rest. He had to spy on me! Find a crack in the smooth painted glass between us. He saw the spider-crack in the form of my ad on a sugar dating website. All that he pretended to be - wonderful, caring, etc - was no longer there. I saw the jealousy and control.

I did not apologize!!! For if I had uttered those words I would never be the same in his eyes again. M the push over, M the unfaithful, M the tainted. With apologies he would only pressure me to prove my adoration, devotion, and worship of him. And why when I did nothing wrong?

My question in the last entry which was, “why is your friend sending you profiles? Are you looking to leave me? :( ” was never answered.

Of course, you and I know it is all bullshit. There was no friend sending him profiles. It was him, undoubtedly, verifiably him.

I asked him if we were going to talk about things. The following day (24 hours later) I received a text asking me for an email address where he would write this first letter -

“Waiting for an explanation. I think I deserve one. You can tell I’m very upset but I do want to understand.”

I wrote back -

“This is my explanation. In the last while I started to feel like you are wavering in your commitment to our relationship. Before your first trip, you said you will make sure to take care of me because you are the one going away.

This time you went away for another week and I won't get to see you as we agreed on, which is once a week.

This all has left me feeling insecure.”

A couple of hours later he wrote this message -

“No apology. Not the slightest remorse. Blame me. Nice.

I told you about both these trips more than a month ago. I'm curious how much you make at your job. Combine that with what I've been giving you...seems to me you are greedy and spoiled and thought you would get away with it. Not a single mention you had any problem with how things were going.

Interesting that when I told you I was completely loyal to you I got dead silence back. I get it now. All the good night baloney was just part of the business.... marketing. Nice job. You sucked me right in. My lesson ... something that seems too good to be true ALWAYS is.

You are pretty sure of yourself. You will soon learn what a bunch of scumbags are on the Internet. You had someone loyal who only wanted to help you. I very much doubt you will be able to replace that.”

I was a bit pissed and for the last exchange wrote to him -

“You asked for an explanation in your email. Nowhere did you ask for an apology.

Just to be clear, I’m not blaming anyone. Yes you told me about the trips but you also promised to take care of me. I did not think I had to complain to you about my financial problems. I did try to make you see this by asking you for the allowance a week ago.

I am confused about what you want. You want to be discrete so we stay indoors. You want to have sex how you want and for as long as you want. And then you expect me to be everything to you? I try my best but you aren’t doing your part. You are not loyal to me! You are married!!!

I am the only one who has been loyal to you since day one. I DON’T even need to say it!

I have not been trying to replace you.

But I still don’t know why your friend has been sending you profiles of girls from the website? You did not answer this to me. :( ”

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Sugarbaby - Daddy Caught Me!!!

So I was going to write about my sugar search until something wild happened today. I was sitting at my computer, chilling out and listening to music. My cell phone went off - I looked and it’s a text message from my daddy:

“Just landed at the airport. Want to ask you if you are happy with our arrangement?” He asked.

“Yes of course! Are you?” I asked. At this point I was getting dizzy ‘cuz I knew this has something to do with my new advertisement on the sugar website.

10 minutes later I get this: “Got an e-mail just now from my friend who told me about the site. It is a print screen of your new profile…Nice stab in the back! I don’t have a computer but even on my phone it is obviously you. Anything to say?”

Gulp…I could not swallow too well right then. I should have been expecting this right? Wrong, I didn’t think in less than 1 week J was going to see the profile. And what’s this, his friend is sending him profiles from the website? I did not want to admit to anything and honestly…I’m not his wife! Why do I need to explain myself???

I say back to him: “Why is your friend sending you profiles? Are you looking to leave me? :( ”

LOL…yes, that’s what I said!!! I have not heard a response for 4 hours now.

I had been so good to him lately too. This past week he slept over and then came over for a couple hours to cuddle with me. I’ve been all over him seriously! Kissing, cuddling, you get the picture! Last night I even sent him a message saying: “I’m going to miss you so much. You should write to me every day if you can handsome. Kisses.” And I truly meant it :(

Just because I’m looking for another sugar dad on the side, I’m not neglecting my responsibility as a good sugar girl. I really am trying! Why is he so jealous? Even last night he said, “You behave while I’m away.” Jealous…controlling…

Of course I look for sugar on the side, how do I know he’s not going to ditch me? All that talk about barrier free intercourse got me worried! I know it upset him and I started thinking…what if he starts looking for a sugar that will agree to condom-less sex? GAH!!!!!

I think I had a panic attack an hour ago…I thought I was going to faint. I know this isn’t the end of all things, it just means that if he ditches me it’s back to fucking lots of clients to make ends meet :( I don’t want to do it !!! I can do it every once in a while but not all the time!

Sigh…I need a hug really bad

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Escort - My First Time

I was not a victim of circumstance when my boyfriend introduced me to my very first client. I was 14 years old, and he, the client was near his early 50s. That day, I remember how nervous I was. All of the excitement in the world was not enough to get me past my nerves.

Going back two days, my pimp and boyfriend was on the phone describing me - 18 year old, petite beauty, new to the business. Yes, you would really like her. I know your type and she’s that and some. Just be easy on her, it’s like her third time doing this.

I was as ready as a chick learning to fly. “Listen to me carefully, all right?” I nodded and looked up at my boyfriend.

“He will be here in 30 minutes to pick you up. When you get to his place make sure to get the money upfront. Then make sure to go over the rules. Tell me what the rules are, do you remember what I told you before?” He asked.

“Nothing unsafe...everything has to be done with a condom on.” I said to Johnny.

“AND?! Make sure to say no kissing. Don’t you forget that. If I find out you kissed and I WILL find out, you better not do it.” He warned me.

“I won’t Johnny.” I said looking him in the eyes with my most convincing look.

“Good, you are ready then. Here is a condom.” He pulled out a silver wrapper and handed it to me.

“Oh…” I said uneasily, “Uh Johnny, I don’t know how to put a condom on.”

“WHAT? You got to be fucking kidding me…never mind now. It’s simple okay.” He finished explaining the logistics just before the guy knocked on the door.

Bill looked to be 50 something. He had black curly thick hair, dark pleasant eyes, and a very calm demeanor. He was short and on the slim side, I didn’t know exactly how short he was until I stood up to throw on my coat. At 5 foot 3 he must have been 2 to 3 inches taller.

Johnny introduced us, “This is Tina.”

I smiled, “Hi.”

“Well aren’t you just a doll?! How are you? Where did you find this one John?” He exclaimed with a smile talking to my boyfriend mostly.

Some small talk later I was sitting in the front passenger seat next to Bill. Johnny stayed behind as arrangement. The car ride was relaxing and Bill made it is easy to talk. Not being disrespectful and kept all conversation non-personal. Half an hour later we arrived at his house.

Inside the entrance hallway, I kicked off my boots which managed to pile on snow as I walked from the car up to the house. Looking around the house, in the living room watching TV sat a much older man. He seemed very enthralled in the movie that was playing. Bill greeted him as we passed the living room to the cozy bedroom. It was a clean room with a king size bed, a night stand with a lamp that Bill turned on to have some dim lighting. A walk-in closet was near the door and a wide window on the opposite wall. It was snowing and already dark outside, it got so dark while we were driving and it wasn’t even 6:30 PM yet.

Bill asked me to get comfortable by taking off my winter coat and asking if I would like some coke or marijuana. I declined both, stating I do not do drugs. He left the room for a few tokes. When he returned I was leaning against the foot board of his bed. He smiled and offered me the $150, which had been agreed on. I counted it and put it in my coat pocket.

“Umm…I have to tell you something. The rules.” I said nervously.

“Yes. Please tell me those.” He said with a nice smile and waited patiently.

“I don’t kiss and don’t do anything without a condom.” I told him while thinking, I didn’t miss anything I hope.

“Can I ask you just for one thing? May I lick your pussy?”

I wasn’t prepared for that! In my entire life I had it done maybe 3 times on me at most. I was not sure if it was safe or unsafe and why he would even ask such a silly question. While I stood there thinking he added, “Please? I really love doing it? I promise it will be good.”

“Okay.” Was my final answer, even though I was not sure if that’s what it should have been?

He got undressed and I slowly removed my jeans and top. I had on a baby blue sport bra and matching panties by Calvin Klein. (I did not start wearing real fancy bras until I was older). I took those off pretty quick too. Not really sure how to start things I lay down beside him on the bed. He started to admire and compliment how fit I was.

Then he started to kiss my body all over and slowly moved between my thighs. My hands were icicles and I was shaking, not from the winter cold but from how scared I was. As much as I wanted to do this, I was petrified. His warm tongue reached my pussy and he used his fingers to gently open the outer lips. Making small circles around my clit he started to lick pussy. It was the best action I had ever felt! My past few oral experiences did not feel like this, it was incomparable. He used his tongue until I was about to cum and then stopped.

I took out the condom and carefully, best I could, slid the condom on his hard penis. It was much smaller than Johnny’s. He asked me to hop on and we started humping. After a few more positions he was between my thighs again. My excitement grew and I was constantly on the edge but never quite made it. I finished him with a blowjob.

On our ride back to Johnny’s, Bill got lost. Using a map found in his glove compartment he eventually navigated to my destination. Before I stepped out the car he asked for the best way to contact me. “Through Johnny.” I said while he escorted me back up the stairs. “I’d like to see you again, bye for now.” He kissed me on the cheek and left.

Back at home Johnny told me to go shower and afterwards I gave him 1/3 of my earnings.

This was my first experience into the world of prostitution.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Escort - Agency to Independent

This is my first and last attempt at working for an agency. Seven days straight of advertising DID NOT get me any work! Apparently men keep calling asking to talk to me, but when my agent tells them they have to book an appointment through their service the guys hang up or just say “I’ll call you back” and never do. I do not understand their lack of wanting to book through a third party? It might be that our town is flooded with independent providers and few very reputable agencies. The agency I started with is very new.

I quit.

A few nights ago I was cruising the net and found a couple of free websites providing free hosting and tools for website building! The only down side is you cannot get your own domain name for free, but those are available for as low as $10/year. Currently I still own my domain that features my “old escort name” and have a contract with a webhosting company. I am very good at web design, and have knowledge of CSS and HTML. Not wanting to buy a new domain name, I decided to try out this free webhost.

In a matter of 2 hours I built a website from scratch. I did not use their formatted templates, because I did not want my website to imitate that of my competition. I wanted mine to be unique. The following day I looked at my website with a fresh pair of eyes and tweaked it to perfection. Before publishing the site for the WorldWideWeb, I linked each of the pages together. All was done with a few clicks of a mouse.

You can even put banners of other websites! I haven’t done this yet but it is easy to do and the website provides video tutorials on how this is done.

If you would like to know which site I used (for free) and the other one I found offering free hosting/web design just comment below this post.

That same day, I put up my advertisement including the link to the new website and voila! I had two jobs lined up a couple hours later.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Sugarbaby - No Condoms

Here is a short exchange yesterday morning between J and I.

Me: “Morning handsome, how are you today?”

J: “Morning baby..Doing good, about to go for a swim. How are you?”

Me: “Good thanks. You been swimming every day?”

J: “Not every day but when I can. The weather is great here.”

Me: “It’s been cool here last little while, but not cold as usual :)”

J: “Love to be inside with you (or of you) right now ;)”

Me: “Oh yea ;)”

(Up to now I have been warming up. I needed to bring up the allowance, which I didn’t get this week because he has been away for 2 weeks.)

Me: “Can you please bring the allowance for this week and next week when we see each other Monday night?”

J: “Yes no problem.”

Me: “Thanks”

J: “No worries..Maybe we can talk a bit about birth control options. I want to explore your “maybe” from last time.

* * *

Here is the filler-in. Three weeks ago (2 of which he’s been away), J said to me, “Maybe one day when you are comfortable with me we can start having sex without a condom.”

I am a major procrastinator and if topics can be avoided I usually don’t answer them with a firm yes or a no. Why? Because in this case I figured “one day when I get comfortable” will be many many many months from now. Not 3 weeks later! And we haven’t even seen each other for 2 weeks.

My answer three weeks ago was, “Maybe…but I don’t see how that would be possible. I am not on birth control pills and I do not want to get pregnant.” We left it at that.

Fast forward 3 weeks back to our text exchange
* * *

Me: “I am not going to take birth control pills, it’s not natural.”

J” “I see. And nothing else works? Pulling out and working with your cycle, etc?”

Me: “Very risky. I have always used condoms only. Nothing else.”

J: “I see. Just not sure what ‘maybe’ meant last time I asked?”

Me: “Last time you asked the question with a “maybe when you are comfortable…” and so I responded with a “maybe” too.”

J: “A bit of a tricky answer, but I see now it is not an option so I won’t keep asking…”

Me: “Sorry, didn’t try to be tricky. But thanks. Kiss.”

J: “xo”

Yea…………….. So here are my thoughts on this B.S.
Why would I do this for him? The arrangement I am in does not change if he gets to dip his chip without a rubber. How does this benefit me? NOT a fucking bit, lemme tell ya!

I would not ask for more money to have unprotected sex. Knowing what I know about the majority of men (him included) it is too risky for my sexual well being. If he cheats on his wife with me, he could also be seeing escorts while he is away on trips because neither his wife nor I are there with him.

It’s a good thing I started looking for a new sugar dad, and to think less than 12 hours later we had this crappy conversation

:D I am psychic or what? hehehehe

Friday, November 12, 2010

Sugarbaby - Reinvented

Last night was very productive for me. I went back to the sugar dating website and whipped up a new advertisement. I changed many details, such as interests, age, name and my vocation. The photos I used when J contacted me had to go. I put two up that reveal part of my face. I am always very nervous about face pics. Try working as a pro in the same town you are fishing for daddies. I know many of those men troll dating and sugar websites.

I am also walking on egg shells, J could be lurking on the site looking for signs of me. He asked me to delete my ad back in September and I told him I did. But last night, I started thinking, why am I hung up on this dude? The sex is boring - picture silence (yes, he turns off my music) and a guy humping missionary for 2 hours until the girl is soaked in his sweat from head to toe. He doesn’t even make a sound until he cums! I tried talking dirty to him, but he doesn’t seem to engage in it. It’s difficult talking dirty for 2 or 3 hours straight. 30 minutes in I keep reminding myself to fake my moans. Haha

We don’t go anywhere because he is afraid to be caught or seen with me in public. I get it but that gets extremely boring. I want to go out at least once every 4th visit. And half the time he comes over I am hungry because he doesn’t want to order food. I don’t have food at my place, it’s my fuck pad! If he ever opened the fridge, I think he’d realize I don’t live there LMAO. It is EMPTY. The place is always spotless clean and if you open the drawers you’d find dust, or lots of sex worker outfits. It’s a place I can move out of in 3 hours (including car trips).

All these thoughts crowding my mind equal a solution. I need another daddy. And why not get two or three? :) hehe I need a guy that will make things fun. You see, after trying 4 to 5 ‘flavors’ every day as an escort, you could say I’ve become spoiled. I compare one man to the next, based on his sexual abilities and his fun barometer. Some men come to see me with the “I’m gonna have fun” attitude. While majority take sex too seriously.

The allowance is still very important because gifts, though nice, end at some point. I keep on thinking of the gifts I want but that list is short:

- iPhone 4
- Lap top computer
- Video camera (that takes stills too)
- Kindle (so I can read anywhere)
- Sex toys? (I have only bought one dildo in my life)
- Trip to an ocean resort (I have never seen the ocean!)
- Trip to Europe or Australia (I haven’t left my town in over 12 years)

I really should think of something but nothing keeps coming to mind. Clothing and the little things I can always buy with an allowance. They aren’t too expensive. So as you can see it’s a short list. At most that is worth 7 months, and then what would I ask for? Allowance is a way for me to save for a new car or that apartment I am dreaming of buying one day.

Here is what I did in the last month. I paid off my student loan out of my savings. All $30,000! The allowance I’ve been setting aside from J is a way for me to get back that large sum of money (of course he does not know). At first, I was going to pay off my student loan monthly but after calculating how much interest I’ll be paying each month, I just gave them all the cash.

I will still use my ‘student loan’ as a reason for getting into a new sugar arrangement. Seems that men like helping out young pretty school girls ;) hehe

I’m re-inventing ;)

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Escort - Purse Items and Health - Update November 10, 2010

In the past I would always get tiny neat little purses with a long strap, but the other day I bought myself a new black handbag. It’s nothing spectacular but it’s got compartments with zippers, pockets, and it’s roomy. A girl needs a spacious purse when she goes on outcalls (to a client’s place). I will make a list of things I carry with me:

Items to bring on an Outcall:

- Cell phone
- Condoms (a few variety of sizes)
- Lubrication
- Dildo/vibrator
- Strap-on (if you cater to it)
- Keys
- Mace or Taser (or both LOL)
- Lip stick/gloss
- Napkins
- Powder (for touch-ups)/concealer
- Tiny mirror
- Stockings/garter belt

I always leave my ID along with the wallet in the car or at home. But if you cannot, make sure to hide your documentation inside a purse pocket that is difficult to find.

I told J that I went shopping for a purse. He asked me if I am a ‘purse collector’ since I talk about them often. I say, “no, I just needed a bigger one.” And it prompted this response from him, “I hope I’m big enough for you. I wouldn’t want you shopping around for something else.”

Uhuh Mr. I’ve Got A Small Penis. LMAO

I just told him he’s perfect. ;) Which is a big lie… I think that is why I was tempted to start being an escort again. Money isn’t the factor! I just like variety of really big hard cocks and men who actually make sex fun! Oooh yes :D hehehe
So at the end of this entry I am going to attach a photo of my handbag :) Me like it A LOT!

Some bad news… I went to get an ultrasound last week and done blood tests today. The nurse from the doctor’s office called yesterday saying that the results are back for the ultrasound. They only call if something been found!!!

I’m very scared but at the same time happy that whatever it is has been found early on. Or maybe it’s not early? LOL It could have been around for a long time. I’m going to see the doc this week I hope to find out what it is. It’s one of three, thyroid, liver or kidneys. Hopefully something that is simple to treat! :)

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Be My Baby and Sugardaddy - Update November 7, 2010

Today I watched “Dirty Dancing” for the very first time. I loved that movie!!! No surprise there, I enjoy all musical/dance films. I cannot decide which I like most, Chicago or Across the Universe.

The first track in the movie is called “Be My Baby” by the Ronettes. The song has been on my mind all night long LOL…So I downloaded the soundtrack and played the tune on repeat while I practiced my pole moves. You’d be amazed to know that this song actually works for a pole routine and looks pretty hot to if done with that swing and fast pace. I am so pumped up that I can’t get to bed haha…

Check out the song with lyrics below.

The night we met I knew I needed you so
And if I had the chance I'd never let you go
So won't you say you love me
I'll make you so proud of me
We'll make 'em turn their heads
Every place we go
So won't you please

Be my little baby
Say you'll be my darling
Be my baby now

I'll make you happy, baby
Just wait and see
For every kiss you give me
I'll give you three
Oh, since the day I saw you
I have been waiting for you
You know I will adore you
Till eternity so won't you please

Be my little baby
Say you'll be my darling
Be my baby now


Be my little baby
Say you'll be my darling
Be my baby now

Be my little baby
Ooh, ohh...

I heard from J today. He will be returning a week from today and we already started planning our visits. When he returns he wants to see me for 3 days, which I don’t mind. But this is what put me off, our text message exchange -

He texts: “At what point are you in your cycle, if you don’t mind my asking?”

I text : “According to my calculations ‘it’ should start on the 13th or 14th. I know that sucks :( ”

He texts: “Ok…That’s a downer…Let’s hope it’s a bit late…I’ll wish you a goodnight now.”

I text: “We can do other fun things *wink wink* Sweet dreams. Kiss”

I didn’t really expect a response, and he never said anything in return. I know it’s because there is really nothing I can do that is ‘fun’ for him. He doesn’t like blowjobs, and I don’t see him being keen on a handjob. Now I feel like it’s my fault?! :(

My period is going to start a day before or ‘the’ day of his return from the 2 week trip. And he’s only back for maybe 5 days and then he leaves again for a week or two. I don’t know what to do. The timing seems to be working against me. When he leaves, I’ll be good again…….gah!

I have a solution but in his case it won’t work. See, if we had sex in the shower, it wouldn’t be so messy but I don’t want to be stuck in the shower for over an hour! If he could cum within 10 minutes, it would be an alternative…

I don’t run into this issue with escorting clients because I just don’t work when I’m on the rag. But this is something I haven’t run into before…

Am I supposed to feel like shit?! Cuz I do :(

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Escort Clients - Kooky Monster Part 2

I walked into the lobby and looked at the buzzer plate on the wall. My eyes scanned through the apartment numbers listed by each button on the wall. The first thing that struck me odd was that every apartment had 3 digits (not 4). But before I could even think any further a guy came up from the inside of the lobby and opened the door for me. I wasn’t sure if he was my client. Not like I get photos in advance.

I said ‘hi’ to him to see if he’s the one waiting for me. He nodded in approval. He was about 28 years old (or so) and extremely tall! At roughly 6’7 he towered over me by more than a foot. Giant but at least he wasn’t fat. I would say he was pretty fit (bonus) ;)

He had a strange expression on his face. As if he was really sad or regretting something.

“The elevator isn’t working. We have to take the stairs.” He said to me.

He held open the heavy door leading to the stairwell. I entered and started walking upstairs.

“No, it’s downstairs.” He motioned his head in the direction of the stairs going down. I couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable so I thought I should continue talking to him.

“How are you doing? Did you have a good day?” I asked the guy.

He was walking behind me on the stairs leading down, “No I had a shitty day. Actually, I need to tell you something.”

I stopped and turned around to look at him, looking at my surroundings while I moved around. I noticed I was cornered at the bottom of the stairwell. To make matters worse, the only way out was a door to my right which conveniently led to the underground parking lot. My eyes fixated on my only way out, past the man blocking the stairs up to the lobby. I kept myself composed and waited for what would happen next.

“I was fired today.”

“Oh I’m sorry. That must really be a drag.” I responded.

“And I don’t have the fee for you.” He said looking at me.

“Oh…” I said. Thinking, what am I going to do now? My driver won’t even be able to find me because the apartment I gave is non-existent. And I’m in the stairwell! I started to panic but kept a calm appearance on the outside.

“I want to take you into the garage.” He said to me.

“What about your apartment?” I asked him with hope of postponing any action.

We stood there in silence for what seemed like an eternity but of course it was probably a minute or less. He kept on staring at me quietly. And I kept on looking at his hands. I slipped my hand into my coat pocket and felt for my flip phone. I flipped it open in the pocket and had my finger ready to speed dial my driver’s number. If all else failed, I hoped that my driver would put two and two together, and come to rescue me. For some reason I thought if only I knew what his next move would be, I’d be able to get away.

Then he broke the silence by finally not answering my last question, “Well…I guess. I guess I should walk you back up to the lobby.”

I was partly relieved. “Yes, that would be nice.” I said back to him.

He moved away slowly to let me pass him on the landing. I started to walk up the stairs back to the lobby. I didn’t really care to say goodbye to him. I reached my hand over to open the glass door of the lobby leading to the next set of exit doors.

“Wait!” he said nudging the door closed with his leg, “I’m very sorry. And here is $20 for a cab back home.”

I took the bill and walked outside. Leaving him standing at the glass doors. He was watching me leave.

I ran up to my car, opened the door and slipped in.

“That was fast!” My driver looked surprised. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

I guess my driver noticed the look on my face and how I was fumbling with the keys to start my car and get out of there as fast as I could.

“I don’t know! But I think he asked me to come to a building where he doesn’t even live. I think he wanted to take me to the basement, garage, or whatever. But for some reason let me go.” I said in a panic.

“What?!” My driver’s eyes widened.


Thursday, November 4, 2010

Escort - Business is Slllooooooow!

From what I remember two years ago, when I started off with a clean slate, business came easy. I would put up an advert and within an hour or two some cat would be on my trail. I would bust at least one pair of balls per night (that was a minimum). Things changed or what?

Yesterday, I started advertising my services as a new girl. I am leaving my old pseudonym in the past and moving on. I have re-defined myself. I’m now the regular girl off the block, no fancy names like escort, companion, etc… It is simple - I am a prostitute. I would say that my personality and how I approach my business is still the same. I am friendly, playful, nice and naughty in an innocent hot way. If you don’t know what I mean maybe this picture would help?

Aside from all the services I used to perform/allow I have only taken kissing off the menu. I love kissing and have come a long way to only turn back to how I first started in this industry. However, I must decline this part of it because in the last two years I continually suffered from swollen tonsils. They would engorge from the infections, turn white from all the pus, and only when I took breaks from working would they slowly return to normal. It took me a couple years to realize that the constant swap of saliva/bacteria was creating over drive in my tonsils.
The immune system can only function so long before all the different bacterium (from different men) starts attacking the glands that help fight off disease.

All else remains the same.

So far there has been no work. Last night the report was - 2 calls, 1 text message, and 1 email.

The first caller asked for the restrictions on the menu and said he will do some more shopping around. Then the text message inquiry agreed to price and services but wanted a car-date.

And I am really uncomfortable getting into a stranger’s car. How will I know he’s not some creep that will knock me unconscious and drive me out in the middle of nowhere? It’s a scary thought not to mention doing it in a car is probably very cramped. LMAO I have never had sex in a car. Yes, I know how uncivilized. I have had sex in many public places but for some reason a car never made it up on my list.
Then I wondered, why do car-dates have to be in a client’s car? I have a car too. At least that would give me more control since I’m the driving party. I would even do it but my new car is slamming. It’s brand new and clean. I do not see myself wiping down jizz smears from the shift stick.

The next caller went something like this. He asked for me but the phone agent explained to him that she schedules my appointments. He wasn’t impressed and said that he and his friend would like to see me for $100. $1 per minute kind of thing, he said. My agent told him what my rate was and he started arguing that he saw in the ad it was $1 for each minute of my time. Then he apologized and said his ‘friend’ doesn’t read well. My agent told him that she feels uncomfortable sending a girl to a house with more than one guy. To which he said, “We have a shower and two separate bedrooms. We’ll have her wash off when she is done with one of us before she sees the other.”

That’s when my agent told him to have a good night and hung up. What guys eh? LMAO

The email was just an-ask for half hour visit. Which I don’t bother doing.

Tonight was even less productive! Two callers and one text message.

The text asked me to go out for a drink.

The first caller wanted a 15 minute visit for $150. Which is a great deal but I don’t bother driving out for less than 1 hour.

The last caller sounded like an East Indian guy (I don’t really like seeing these). He started asking if I travel on trips. He wanted someone to get out of town with him on the weekend. The only problem was, he wouldn’t book me for an introduction. My agent advised him to book me before making such a commitment for the long-weekend. He didn’t want to do it. It ended there.

I have revised my advertising a little for tomorrow night. Instead of listing all my restrictions, I listed all the services available. What makes it tough is, that I don’t offer a GFE (Girl Friend Experience) and specifically say that I do not. I hate bait and switch so at least I’m being honest. :)

I am sure business will pick up. For whatever reason I just started at a slow time.


Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Escort Clients - Kooky Monster Part 1

This is a story of one particular experience gone awry. At the time I was working as an independent escort with my useless driver (but that’s another story).

It was my second month back on the job and I was going to see my 7 th client. Not seventh client of the day, but the 7th as an independent. Seven is my lucky number, that’s why I still remember.

That evening I posted my ad on Craigslist, just like I did on all the other nights looking for work. As the emails flooded my Inbox I scanned through searching for a client asking for an outcall (date at his place).

My only selection criterion was on how serious a guy sounded on making an appointment and whether he wanted it ASAP.

I sent off an email with all the details to a guy by the nickname 'Monster'. He seemed interested in seeing me. When I received a response back within a few minutes, I was 99% sure that he was going to be the one. I didn’t give out my phone number so email was the only way for me to contact someone. And if I had a guy contact me within seconds I knew I had a hold on him.

He wanted to see me at 10 PM for an hour at his house in the South part of town. After getting a few more details (such as address and his phone number) the visit was confirmed. This meant I had to be out the door within 25 minutes to get there with a few minutes to spare.

(I hate being late. I’d rather get there early and sit in the car waiting).

I told my driver that we were heading out. We got in my car (yes, LOL, his old cruiser was at the shop) and I drove to the address supplied by my client. As I slowly drove by the buildings looking for the address I realized that it was an apartment building. I parked about a block away, facing the building so that the front entrance was in plain sight. It was 10 minutes to 10 when I looked at the clock. With a few extra minutes to go, I took out the scrap piece of paper with the address written on it.

“He didn’t give me his apartment number.” I turned and looked at my driver.

“He didn’t say it was a condo, didn’t he say it was a house?” My driver asked.

“Yes, well I’ll give him a call and ask him for it before I leave.” I said.

I dialed his number and waited for the pick up.

“Hi, I have arrived. Can you tell me what your apartment number is please?” I spoke into the cell phone.

“Oh yea, sorry. It’s 3326. But I’m not home at the moment; I’ll be there in about 5 minutes. I just went out to get some cash from the ATM. You can wait in the lobby and I’ll be there soon.” He said.

“Why don’t we do it like this…I wait for you to return back home. You settle down and I’ll give you a call in 15 minutes to check that you’re home? Then I will come up to see you.” I instructed him.

“Uh…okay, see you then.” And he hung-up the phone.

I filled in the unit number on the piece of paper containing the address.

“Here, this is the suite number he gave me. If anything goes wrong…like I don’t pick up the phone you know where to find me.” I said to my passenger.

“Okay…” he said taking the piece of paper out of my hand.

We sat in the car with the heat blasting for 15 minutes. It was January 2nd and the night was freezing cold.

“I didn’t see anyone go into the building. Did you?” I asked my driver.

“No, didn’t see anyone. And it’s been 15 minutes already,” was his response.

“I’ll give him a call to see if he’s back home. Maybe he used the back door.”


“Hello, are you home?”

“Yes. I am now,” said the client.

“Cool, I will be there in a minute,” I answered and hung-up.

“You know the drill right? 15 minutes at most and you call if I don’t call you.” I told the driver before slamming the car door behind me.

Sugar and Health - Update Nov 1, 2010

J is now a few days into his 2 week vacation with wife and child. Before he left, I let him know that my cell phone had stopped working. He knows that I want to get a new iPhone 4 for my birthday which is coming up real soon! So he asked me to sit tight because the present will be coming my way pretty soon. I hope before my birthday :D

I do wish he stopped playing silly games with me. Telling me that he’s living with his wife for the sake of his child, but as husband and wife they haven’t shared a bed in a long time. Then, when I ask him to trim or shave the pubes around his groin, he finds an excuse not to do it.

This is a classic example of man teaching on his wife. He can’t start shaving his twig and berries because his wife would notice. I understand this bit, but why lie to me? And tell me things like, “I’m not even loyal to my wife, I’m loyal to you.” Don’t make me gag man. It’s one thing to lie but why butter it up?

(I haven’t seen too many guys like this but his pubes cover 2 inches of his cock from the base. I can’t take his entire dick in my mouth because I don’t want a mouth full of hairs! Also, it’s a pretty funny looking thing - I call these pencil dicks. It’s fairly skinny and tappers of to a thin point at the tip.)

He is starting to irritate me like so many other men I grow bored of. However, I now know this is pure business and I will keep playing my role as long as he keeps paying my allowance. There will be more news when he returns from his vacation - he wants to do 2 or 3 overnights.

But for now this is the note I got from him last night: “It’s beautiful down here…Wish I could share it with you…Maybe someday :)”

Uhuh…rub it in while I’m freezing my ass off in this tundra.

On a different note, I’m a little worried about my health. Today, I have an appointment to see my doc. I’m going to get blood work done to check if I have any thyroid antibodies. Don’t know when I’ll get my results yet because the test won’t be done today.