Monday, November 29, 2010

The Other Man 2

He is back in my life now, and I have never met anyone as conceited. In the post (The Other Man) I told the story of a man who slept with me for money (not as a client). We’ve been good friends for a year on and off. The drama he added to my life is not yet over.

We didn’t communicate at all for 1 month. It got to the point that I started forgetting about him but one day, when I was at my weakest moment I gave him a call. He is one person that I can be honest with 90% of the time. Honest about what I do, my search for a sugar daddy, what is stressing me out and some of my happy times. I am open with him because I know he doesn’t pass judgment on me as a person.

And so just a week ago we started talking again. Things were great; I thought he had got over my attraction to J. And now that J was out of the picture, what was there to be jealous about?

He said, “I just don’t get you. Everything you always say about a man, the things you want in a man, is right in front of you. Don’t you see it? Take a chance with me. We have everything we need to build a happy relationship.”

As I have explained in my entry ago, he is not someone I am physically attracted to. Knowing myself, I know that no matter how much time I give the dislike of him will never turn into a like. I told him, “I do not want to have a relationship with you. I never again want to have sex with you.”

He asked me, “Why?”

And with a lot of pushing he finally got me to admit that I never enjoyed the times we had sex together. The only reason it looked like I had fun was because I was completely drunk. This hurt his feelings. I told him how I wanted to trick him into a sugar arrangement but couldn’t bring myself to do it because he is my friend.

All of this aside he exclaims, “You are making a BIG mistake. You have met a person who cares for you, who you can be honest with and you are willing to throw it all away.”

I could not believe my ears! Did he really say that? OMG!

He is angry that I set an age cap for myself. No one over the age of 45 for serious relationships. I’d prefer someone 27 or 28ish, but 45 is my cap. My friend is 51 years old. He doesn’t think it’s a fair gap. 45 - 51. He also knows how much I like very fit men, I’m very slim and toned so I expect the same from a man I’m in a relationship with. Yet he is over weight still after losing 80 pounds. He has another 40 pounds to lose before he reaches his normal body weight. Yea…

He wants me to promise him that I will not put a big black cross on him forever. To give him a chance once he reaches his ideal weight. But I do not know.

Any advise????


  1. I feel good and bad for him at the same time.

    Good: he has a friend that will not take advantage of him..

    Bad: he is hopelessly in love with that friend and would probably enjoy being taken advantage of.

    Ugly: I would keep him in my back pocket...if things ever get bad, you have a goto plan....just sayin...

  2. It may hurt but I think you need to cut him loose. When it comes to a healthy sex life, you need to have attraction. At 51 he's not going to get better looking. lol that's why couples grow old together because we don't get more attractive. You can find other friends and when you are comfortable with someone you will let your guard down and be able to share your feelings about what you do.

  3. @ brit and Kenny:

    Thank you both for commenting :)I do want to stay friends with him and will try my best to keep him "in the back pocket" as Kenny put it, for as long as I can.
    My friend may be right about us having a foundation on which to build a relationship, but I will find that and more with someone younger eventually. I don't need to put myself through sex with someone I do not enjoy it with. I do that at work often enough, I don't need to carry it over into my life.