Sunday, February 6, 2011

Girl - Escort Meets Boy

The title of this post was originally going to be “Girlfriend - Escort Finds Boyfriend” but with some additional information out on the table I made the proper adjustment to reflect my situation. Now on with the post…

These had been the 2 longest weeks of my life! When I sat down this morning and tried to reconstruct our 4 dates on the calendar, I felt like we had met at least a month ago. Naturally all the commotion of my distressed mind was crammed full into 14 days of sleepless nights, parties, worries, and excitement. It is obvious why 5 days ago I woke up with a bad cold - stuffy nose, sore bones, and headache - my physical body could not handle it.

I’m feeling good now though! Bounced back to full health pretty quick. And I’m just a little more at ease now…or am I really? Here is what happened…

14 days ago, just before I completely gave up on my ‘boyfriend’ search, I met my 7th guy at a local teashop. He is very cute, a bit on the short side but here is how I’d describe him: 5’8, 165 lbs, blue eyes, wavy brown hair, super toned with muscles in all the right places. He’s just a couple years my senior, lives on his own and owns two cars. Very polite but able to speak his mind and best of all…let me use it in a separate sentence LOL 

Best of ALL - he was crazy about me. Yup…almost obsessed :) I loved it! 

We seemed to hit it off very well, he asked me on our second date to go bowling and then a movie. It went well but I started having doubts of things going further. I guess my conscience of lying to him about being a manager of an escort agency started to weigh on me. He would ask about my day and I would feed him another pile of sugar coated lies on a platter. 

One evening I called him to chat before one of my escort sessions, I had time but he was over at a friend’s house. He talked to me on the phone in the next room for some privacy. “I’m going to a party this weekend, it’s two escort agencies that are just throwing a party for one of the birthday girls working for them.” I told him the truth.

He seemed a bit skeptical about me going to a place like that. Where is it going to be he asked? And I explained that these were usually semi-public parties. An agency rents a pub or bar and makes a list of all invited punters and escorts. I told him I don’t usually go often to these events but this one in particular was of interest to me. And I told him what in reality was true - I found out that an escort I’ve been friends with for the last 2 years was going to be there. The funny thing is we have never met in person but spoke on the phone frequently. She had contacted me and asked if I would be attending and I told her - yes to meet you!

Our conversation led to the topic of married escorts. This friend of mine is married and her husband asked for her hand while he knew about her job. They were together for years before finally settling down but he had always accepted her for who she was and what she did. To this my date expressed his opinion strongly saying, “I wouldn’t be able to date an escort. I can’t see sharing my girl with other men! It would be so wrong. And then the concern for sexual diseases is there too, etc…” I told him I understood where he’s coming from but I personally wouldn’t judge someone so harshly based on his or her line of work. As our conversation progressed into this topic he said, “Please don’t be offended but I wanted to ask if you are into the whole money in exchange for sex thing?” 

I almost stammered, “No…” and a silence followed. 

“No… what?” he asked.

“I’m not…” I said. He apologized again for asking me. I felt like shit for lying and quickly told him I had to let him go because I was busy with work. 

It’s easy not to lie when you avoid the conversation and not have to talk about it…not have to answer such a direct question. But it’s even harder answering a question with a lie when just minutes before that same person expressed how they would really feel about a topic. It would be the same as telling a nurse (not knowing she is one) that you don’t see yourself being with one and then asking the nurse if she is one, but not to be offended if she’s not. It’s totally fucked up.

By our third date I partied away (which was a grand time!) and had a few sleepless nights over over-thinking my situation. I had two choices - make the choice for him by concealing my identity while I watch where our relationship would lead us. And then tell him about my job when I feel the time is right. Which in his mind would mean - a perpetuation of a lie, putting him at risk of sexual diseases, etc…

Or choice number two - tell him that I really am an escort and apologize that I lied. Watch as any possibility of us having a relationship disintegrates before my eyes. Which in his mind would mean - a recovery/correction to a lie, allowing him to see me for who I really am without putting himself at risk of sexual diseases, etc…

What did I choose? Option #1 or #2? Could it be some where in the middle? More later…


  1. Of course I am curious which you chose, but not certain the choices are as you say they are. Under #1 you assume that as time goes on and the relationship grows there will be an appropriate time to tell him. Unfortunately, I don't believe this to be true. As time goes on and he becomes even more attached and crazy about you, likely the more hurt he will be by the thought of the lack of monogamy during your relationship. However, not telling him delays the pain and allows you to have fun and enjoy his company. #2 seems like the choice of tell him now. If you chose number 2, did he remain true to his ethics? Was he hurt by the direct lie?

  2. I guess relationship dilemmas with this line of work are quite common. I'm not sure what you chose, but I am interested to know how things went/are going.

    I wonder though - would you ever give this job up and pursue another line of work if you did meet someone you fell in love with? I know you talked about a woman's husband being cool with it, but I wonder how commonplace that is.

  3. Here is what I wonder...if you manage an escort did you become the manager? You don't just hire someone who knows nothing about the business, you hire someone who is in the business. That is where my mind when with your story and I wonder why his is any different.

    I would not worry about dating an escort when it comes to disease. I think non-pro's are at more's usually have rules and inspect the equipment of their companions and themselves quite often.
    I would want to know...I think it is only fair to be up front. Do it before you sleep with him since one of his concerns is the STD thing.

    I would however want you to quit if we got financially attached. I cannot expect you to stop working just because we are dating.

    If he decides that he cannot date you...then he is not your fish, release him and cast you net again.

    One question....I get confused...are you looking for love or for a sugar daddy?

  4. #2, honey. There is never going to be a right time, and it is only going to be much harder and hurt so much worse later on. Either brave up and tell him, or break up with him and don't explain why, but don't delude yourself into thinking you can win him over with your charms! Monogamy is a powerful institution, and unless he is willing to question his thoughts about it, you don't stand a chance.

    There are so many awesome guys out there who respect and support sex workers... be open about who you are, and eventually you will find one! I like to mention that I am one the first time I meet someone who I am interested in... it becomes real obvious quickly what their attitude is, and a lot of times people are impressed with how up front I am about it.

  5. Thank you all for commenting! :D

    @ Eden:
    I would not give up escorting if I met someone I fell in love's got to go further then that. The guy would either have to accept me or not know...and when the man eventually wants to settle down - get married or have kids...and get serious with me...I don't see why I would need to quit. So until I get into a 'serious' situation, I don't want to change my entire life for someone else.

    @ Kenny:
    A manager can be someone who started working the phones at an escort agency...I know an escort agency owner that has NEVER had sex for $$$ with men. Yet she runs a very reputable agency.

    I have been looking for a boyfriend. LOL Actually, at one point I was doing everything. Looking for a sugardaddy, a boyfriend, and clients...all separate people! :D Right now, things on the sugar front are quiet...

    And to everyone else who commented I agree ;) Thanks for being supportive!!

  6. Its Sarah again my friends are getting sleepy...When you mention the words Escort,Lesbian,Pregnancy,STD, certain topics to men. They freak out and it stays on there brain for Hours!!!!!!!! If you are having Sex for money you can Not have a beau! Why? He will know when he penetrates you that your Not very tight. When you have a pap your gynocologist can determine things..also what about certains smells? Condoms have residue,K-Y lube..also what if one of your clients is friends with one of his associates,family members,co-workers? Yes its a small world after all. Final what if you become a target of a police investigation due to a crazed or sloppy client? Think ..dont endanger others. Cops can be wickedly cruel ..a buddy of mine was in a gang as a teenager. Departed before going into the service. Years ago the cops hassled him for info and he's no snitch. So they snarked to his GF that he was a former gang banger. Always think before you invite others into your world..No offense

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