Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Escort - Avoidable Penises

I have seen dicks in many shapes and sizes. I like most of them, especially when they are rock hard! teeheehee

That being said, there are only a few dicks I try to stay away from.

Super skinny dicks -

These are the dicks that make a regular drug store condom look like a loose garbage bag. Unless you have a rubber band to choke Johnny Dew Worm, there no way you can have sex with him. The condom will slip off, and if you manage to keep it on, watch for leakage!

Super small dicks -

These dicks as a rule have longer pubic hair than the fully erect organ. You can never predict if a man will have one of these. He could be the biggest whale of a man, king of 2010 Pizza Eating competition, but when he drops those briefs you need a magnifying glass to find the shrimp. I still have not figured out where to buy condoms for these fellas. Next time I see a package saying “roll the rim to win”, I’m getting it!

Crooked dicks -

These are very rare but I have seen some dicks ‘bent’ out of shape. A classic example was a dick that pointed straight out and somewhere midway the shaft made a sharp 90 degree turn to the left. I don’t really know how it happens, but after the shaft is injured it must heal at the wrong angle? I have tried having sex with one of these and it hurts. Try putting a boomerang in your twat!

My advise - do not repeat. But don’t take my word for it. Do whatever blows your skirt up.


  1. KennyOct 26, 2010 02:05 PM
    I was pleased to read somewhere that the mushroom head cock gave the most pleasure...guess what I am packing.... :)
  2. MOct 26, 2010 03:10 PM
    Oh Kenny I know what you packin' boy :) Seen enough of that last picture of you "half" naked ;) You look hott... xxox
  3. AnonymousOct 27, 2010 07:11 AM
    I had a, get this, a crater dick. It was barely able to make it to normal one more cm and he would been a needle dick. So it looked "normal" for it's size. But, when he got rock hard and you started to stroke it, It was like craters were in there! I mean almost like swiss cheese. He is my ex from almost 4 years ago. I still don't have the heart to tell him I faked it every time with him. Not that I would anyway. xD
    BTW I am the 'special test' girl. :D
  4. MOct 27, 2010 08:07 AM
    @ Special test girl:

    That's some freaky shite! LOL I never seen swiss cheeze dick before. :) Learn something new every day!
    It's probably best not to tell the boys of their 'penis issues'...they got to live with them. :)
  5. AsshaOct 27, 2010 01:06 PM
    Yeah he had this big grin the first I felt it, like it was great. He said, "You like it?" Me having felt one other penis before, a real one. I looked at him and gave a weak grin, "'s so great..." lol xD
  6. MOct 27, 2010 02:07 PM
    Woh :P
    haha...boys are funny :)

    Thanks for letting me follow your blog. I'll start reading it from the beginning ;)

  7. Goal DiggerNov 9, 2010 08:28 AM
    haha sounds like MMC... pubic hairs bigger than the actual package... shame :D
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