Friday, October 29, 2010

Escort - Inept Clients (Edited Again)

I should be getting ready for my return to the escorting business. I set today aside to get myself prepped for tomorrow. Made up my mind now, it was a nice vacation but now it’s time to dust off the fishnets and get back to the curb (figuratively speaking) ;)

But some how I’m just not feeling it, and instead I will share experiences I had with completely inept clients. I would say, at age 30+ they are oblivious to sex. Where was school when they needed it? huh?

1) Oh I came!

I met a nice fellow, somewhere in his early 30’s. He was shy but my little chit-chat somehow got us between the sheets. He wanted to do it missionary style, I slapped on the cover, and we were off to the races.

Not being a much endowed guy, I couldn’t feel him. Was it in…yet? (I don’t ask, I just check.) It looked like he found his way in! I couldn’t feel him at all…but as long as he was enjoying himself, I was content.

Several minutes into it I started to grow irritated. He was humping so slow, I thought I would die. I love to go fast and hard. I asked him if we can switch to doggy, where I would have more control. He paused, an unsure look on his face and stuttered, “uhh…sure” then slowly pulled out and up.

I had to keep my eyes from popping out of their sockets when I saw the shriveling up dick and cum filled condom. In silence, he waited for me to switch over to doggy. I didn’t move.

“You came” I told him in a calm voice. And started taking off the condom.

He looked down and exclaimed, “Oh I came! I didn’t think I did.”

I should have asked him if he didn’t think he put it in or not?

I became angry, which is very rare. But when it comes to safety, be it my client’s or my own, I take it seriously. He had an orgasm, not making a peep and continued humping away! Keeping my temper in check I said, “Didn’t you know that after you cum the condom could slip off if you continue having sex with a woman? And all your cum would just leak out.”

“Yes, I did. I am so sorry. You are right that is what would happen.” He said with a guilty tone in his voice.

Why do these social outcasts do this you might ask? He was embarrassed of blowing his load too fast and didn’t want to tell me. If only he knew that no matter how long he lasted, it wouldn’t have impressed me. What a loser.

2) I’m Holding Off For You

I get this type of guy from time to time. He comes over. Very nice personality and we start up the fun. Mainly, I am always on top. 10, 20, 30 minutes go by and I’m still on top panting and sweating away. I shift into top speed while I’m still in cowgirl, thinking that maybe…maybe he just needs more stimulation.

At 45 minutes into the hour I am exhausted. I roll over onto the bed all sweaty and look over at him. “I think you better take over.”

“Okay.” He says as he lifts me into doggy style, “I was holding off for you to enjoy yourself.”

He was lucky my ass was in his face because he would not have liked my facial expression. “You holding off for my pleasure??!”

A minute later he comes.

What was he holding out for? I know I was waiting for him to finish, but when he lays there like a stiff log with arms down at his sides, I can assure him that nothing is going to happen to me!

I like sex a lot but shorter intervals are the best. Anywhere from 5 to 15 minutes is awesome! I’d rather have sex four times for 10 minutes each with intermissions. I wish I had a remote control for anything longer than 20 minutes. Click, power off.

3) MSOG 20 minutes

I have a lot of guys asking me for MSOG (meaning: cumming more than once in a session). I am a stronger supporter of twice in an hour or two. But, allow me to let you in on a secret….

Most men do not cum twice.

It has nothing to do with me. It is just natural that he can’t keep going unless he is an 18-year-old boy (or late 40’s with great genes). Men should stop comparing themselves to porn starts (those aren’t REAL men LOL). You are not going to pump a gallon of liquid starch out of your cock! Leave it for the special effects.

Who bugs me to no end, are the guys who pressure me to ‘resuscitate’ their Johnson. I don’t mind helping out but if your junk ain’t working give it a rest. The more I jack it the less likely it’s going to work with you getting all sweaty and anxious.

Some men are just full of unrealistic expectations. I had several men request to make ‘em squirt twice in 20 minutes. I’m no miracle worker if it takes him 3 hours to blow.

P.S. (Edit)

I did some thinking and it's not true in all cases. As I was working out, my mind wandered to all those times I was fucked by some really packin' boys. We went for hours and it felt great! Getting pounded by a huge cock and tossed around by a really wild man who's ready to start growling like a large dog is pretty hott. It all comes down to who is doing the fucking, not how long! hehehe
Good times............Now I'm horny


  1. YasminOct 28, 2010 09:59 PM
    Your post has me reminiscing about an old love of my own. He was 18. Alas, it didn't work out between us but he definitely put it down in the bedroom as you described.

    *long sigh*
    Great post!
  2. KennyOct 29, 2010 07:07 AM
    I am glad you edited it. I usually go for about 45 min to an hour, however, it is all over the place, water break, up against the wall, carrying you around the room, laughing, fun hard pounding sex....followed by one (only one) HARD cum. Then I like to lay with you in my arms, feeling the sweat and catching our breath and watching the goose bumps form. My head is usually too dizzy to stand. A good shower and chat...and I am out.

    There is only one girl that got me to cum twice (the Red Head) the second was amazing...I don't think I could do it every time...and it took about a 20 min break in between.

    Good luck and be safe!
  3. MOct 29, 2010 08:18 AM

    Thanks :) Glad I made you feel this way.


    Yea, it's all about fun sex. I don't see much of it where I'm from. Of all the guys I have serviced, only 5 - 10 % make the sex fun and inventive.

    When I'm with J, he wants to mainly be on top. And he always puts all his weight on me, almost crushing me to the point I have a hard time breathing. He's a fit guy, but I'm very slim and tiny to take all that weight. I told him but he seems to enjoy himself this way. So I put up with it. So imagine being squished by a heavy weight for a long time, unable to move, and the guy slowly pumping it...FUCK it sucks...majorly!
  4. AnonymousOct 30, 2010 07:06 AM
    LOL. I like it faster too. Slower is nice SOMETIMES if my attention is caught. But, I do hate it when your about to die and you find out he wants to make it last as long as possible. Like 2 hours. ><;;;; He hates quickies but will do it if need be. But, he likes to stay in bed for hours. One time, after an hour he was "You want to cum again?" One time I said, "If you really want to know, you are squishing my bladder, and I realllllly have to pee," What sicks is I can't say "No I am fine I don't need to...are you done yet?" without getting his feelings hurt. :( That peeing incident has happened at least 3 times. It was for real and you would think he would get the hint. lol.
  5. AnonymousOct 30, 2010 07:08 AM
    I mean a lot of the time he gets me off great, but I am trying to train him to have quickie half the time. xD It would help me form getting my whole body sore.
  6. MOct 30, 2010 08:40 AM
    @ Anonymous:

    LMAO - I couldn't help but laugh cuz you know what I do before having sex with him? I go take a pee, because I know it'll be hours before I have my next one. :D
    Yea, wish I could "train" mine, but he's not coming to see me to get trained. He's paying for it.
    He also doesn't know how to get me off. He asked me if there was a "manual" on how to get me off. I said, "Oh yea, and it's auditory! You just ask." He says, "I like to learn by trial and error. I don't ask."

    What a kook? It be less frustrating for me to have to wait before his trial and error finally starts making me cum. Oh, and by the way, we must of had sex about 10 times now....he's not changing any tactics :P Meaning he's not trying.