Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Exclusively Mistress

Before I even met J for the first time at the coffee shop, he sent me emails questioning my relationship status. He wanted to know if I had a boyfriend or why I do not have a boyfriend when he obviously thinks I’m attractive. I told him that I got out of a ‘bad’ relationship two years ago and have been single ever since. This is true, if you don’t count the hundreds of men I screwed in the interim. But who needs to mention that. Haha

During our first meet, (Sugar Baby - First Kiss), he asked me what I would do if I got into a relationship while we were in an arrangement? I re-assured him once more that I’m not exposing myself in a way that would lead me to a boyfriend, but if for some reason I do in the future, I would let him know right away.

Two weeks into our official arrangement, I received a text from J. It was a request that I delete my sugar profile from the website, if I do wish to pursue our relationship and I’m happy with how things are progressing.

I hate leaving all my eggs in one basket. It makes me feel vulnerable, so I wrote the following: “I am very happy with the direction of our relationship and I do not mind removing my profile off the site. I haven’t visited the site since we’ve met, so I am curious if you would trust me, if I do not remove my profile?”

I thought if I throw in the trust bit, I would put him on the spot. I waited to see how he’d slip past this. In an hour or two I got a response, “I do trust you but find myself guarded not being able to understand why you would not delete your profile.” It must have taken him some time to come up with that!

I indulged him. He also deleted his profile.

In our latest talk of loyalty, he revealed a need to be with someone who will be exclusive. The reasons are - emotional dependence and physical safety. He wants to be able to think of me and smile. Look forward to each and every visit. And he hopes that I would feel the same way. He even asked if the allowance is enough to satisfy my needs. I said, “It sounds to me like you want to have a mistress, am I right?” He nodded.

How do I feel about it? I like the sound of mistress as opposed to sugar baby. I have always pictured a sugar baby as an 18 year old blonde with a fake tan. She isn’t serious and really has not figured out a plan for the next 5 to 10 years.

I don’t know if the mistress title carries more responsibility? How does it differ from being a sugar baby, I guess I will find out :)


  1. Sounds rather controlling. In my mind a mistress is an emotional and a sexual connection. This is a business arrangement, it seems for that amount of control I would up the cost, it sounds like he offered.

    Do you work another job? Are you still escorting? Is this enough for you to save to retire on? Any other plans? What is the time limit on the terms of the arrangement.

  2. @ Kenny:

    It can sound controlling, but I learned that there are quite a few men around that like to think they are in control. I give the illusion that the man is in control but I rarely give up the real control.

    I will answer your questions as I write new entries ;)

    He has told me he wants the arrangement to go on indefinitely.

    Thanks for reading.